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Life of Ripken
By Jim Caple
Page 2


Hey, kids! What does your future hold? A fabulous career? Marriage? Children? Find out about life when you play Montreal Expos outfielder Milton Bradley's game of Life, the special Cal Ripken Jr. version!

Just grab the dice from your big brother's Risk game -- no need to ask! -- print out the gameboard and glue it to the coffee table and you're ready to go! (Hint: Shards of broken glass make sparkly game pieces!

Earn Ph.D in art history. Unable to find job in your field, work at Starbucks. Never miss a day of work. After 11 years, cut $623 from your student loan of $77,492.

Go to
Poor Farm.
Become systems analyst. Never miss work. Down-sized. Leave with two-month severance package and "Dilbert" cartoons.
Go back
to start.
Start dot-com selling gourmet pet food. Never miss work. Become billionaire at IPO. Buy estate overlooking Pacific. Lose everything after 18 months. Move in with parents.
Go back to start.
Marry and devote life to raising four children. Do housework every day for no salary. Never miss a day's work. Never hear "Thank you" but listen to spouse and kids go on about Cal Ripken's work ethic.
Go back to start.
Move to U.S. and work as hotel maid. Clean up after millionaire CEOs and traveling athletes who rarely leave tips. Despite juggling two jobs, never miss a day of work. Get fired when you try to start a union.
Go to Poor Farm.
Teach unmotivated kids for low salary. Never miss work. Lose six turns and get laid off when voters approve $500 million for a ballpark
but reject school levy.
Take job in coal mine. Never miss a day of work. Develop black lung disease. Die at 57. Owe your soul to the company store.
Go back to start.
Pour life savings into cattle and dairy farming. Milk cows every morning at 4 for 25 years. Never miss a day of work. File Chapter 11 when foot and mouth disease hits. Go to Poor Farm.
Sign with Orioles. Spend career in minors, working assorted winter jobs. Begin low-paying coaching career. Never miss work. Finally get big-league managing job at 57 on sons' team. Get fired six games into season.
Go to Poor Farm.
Reach majors at 20. Never miss a game. Earn
$5 million annually. Retire at 41. Advance to Millionaire Acres, enter Hall of Fame and live happily as hero for work ethic.

MILLIONAIRE ACRES

THE POOR FARM

Click here to go on to part 2 of Cap'n Jimmy's Fun Page.

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ALSO SEE:
Caple: Cap'n Jimmy's Fun Page II

Caple: Cap'n Jimmy's Fun Page III

Caple: Cap'n Jimmy's Fun Page IV





 
    
 
 
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