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| Being ... Jeremy Shockey Page 2 staff | ||
| Jeremy Shockey vowed to light up Bill Parcells and the Cowboys on Monday Night Football. The final numbers: two catches, eight yards and two dropped passes, including one gaffe for the ages in the end zone. So, what's on Shockey's mind now?  
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|  "The Olsen twins turn 18 on June 13, 2004. Now ... I wonder what their mom looks like." | 
|  "So the Cowboys got lucky. But have you noticed how much better 'NFL Countdown' is this season?" | 
|  "Step one: Drop ball. Step two: Laugh. Step three: Run to equipment man and ask for gloves. Step four: Repeat step two." | 
|  "When a man can't open up to one of the most respected journalists in the country, what kind of a sad world do we live in?" | 
|  "I am so happy those Maxim guys never asked me to name my favorite TV show." | 
|  "Remember when applying product to your hair, always apply from the back to the front." | 
|  "The last thing you ever want to do is touch one of these with both hands at the same time. They're highly toxic." |